Some Improvement

For the second full week, my daily weight has been below 300 on my home scale.

Now I know daily weigh-ins are discouraged as part of a weight loss plan, but they are somewhat necessary with the CHF. Sudden weight gain could be the first warning sign of further problems/ loss of effectiveness/pulmonary edema.
The guidelines are 3 pounds a day, but I have always had the "ability" to add on about seven pounds overnight with no difficulty or health problems. The doctor says just watch for abnormal and keep track of other symptoms as well.

I have been somewhat productive around the house and yard, although sometimes it's quite a push to motivate me. I like to always do it later when i feel better.
But I have been doing it anyway.

My feet stay terribly swollen these days. Sometimes it hurts to walk on them. Sometimes its horrible to squeeze into shoes. Mentioned that to my PCP, and she looked and said well maybe.

Excuse me? You people (medical professionals) all insist that my damn legs are swelled when they are just extremely FAT. But I teeter in here on feet the size of volleyballs and you say maybe? Here's hoping -- on one hand -- that they are still swelled like that when I see the cardiologist. On the other hand, it would probably be really good if all that swelling went away. We could blame it on summer, or something like that.

Balancing the fluid intake thing has been a nightmare in the heat. I have a low tolerance for heat -- one memorable summer I was in ER three times for rehydration. And too much fluid now means I swell and breathe like a fish. Too little fluid means someone may have to pick me up off the floor, and at over 300 pounds, that's not a nice thing to do to anyone. Plus, you know, I'd hate for it to be falling off the toilet or before/while I'm still getting dressed. So embarrassing.

I think the difference is having the thyroid medicine back. I knew I needed it, but for some reason the blood tests weren't reflecting that need. Possibly the "within normal parameters" is a number too high or low for me to function optimally. Or some of my other medicine is causing a false reading.
I'd really like to be evaluated by an endocrinologist. But you can't exactly just call one up and say Hey, I want to see you.
I may "just" have an on again off again thyroid -- its been doing that for a couple of decades. But I'd like to be sure -- I suspect I have Hashimoto's, but have also been accused of imagining the worst. I'm not sure how or why having a diagnosis -- or even a probably not from a specialist -- is the worst, but that's the message I get. Some of my symptoms are NOT consistent.

But -- I am showing improvement in some small ways, and that's probably worth being happy about.

Not Quite Anything

Well, my fitness goals have had to undergo a few adjustments. They are not being abandoned, nor are they to be deemed completely impossible or unattainable.

BUT...
This long winter and my ongoing health problems, which worsened with the cold and windy and generally unstable weather conditions, have sent me on a journey.

The nutshell version is that my heart is giving out. Heart Failure.

There is no cause for this. No blocked arteries; no malfunctioning valves; no infection or obvious inflammation of the heart muscle; no structural damages; no prolonged bouts of high blood pressure. The one short spurt of high blood pressure was quickly brought under control -- and that was five years ago. (underactive thyroid.)

In the early 2000s (I'm thinking 03 or 04) I had a bad bout of walking pneumonia and a few months later had a heart murmur and a 'slightly enlarged' heart. No structural damage, and as time passed, the condition resolved itself.

I had an anomalous heart problem in October of 08 or 09. There was an acknowledgement of a 'syndrome'. But there were no observable malfunctions, obstructions, or anything that could be diagnosed and treated.

I later had another bout of prolonged pneumonia. And another heart murmur with enlargement of the right ventricle. This set off a whole array of symptoms and tests, but the results were the same. No structural damage. And, once again, the condition resolved.

This may have happened another time -- after so many years and all the things that have happened in the last few years, memories merge or muddle. It has happened enough that there is a faint pattern.

So now I have the symptoms and the struggles of congestive heart failure. The symptoms are somewhat worse than they have been, and show no signs of resolving at this time. I am retaining fluids, and other systems are being affected. My liver is awash.But there are still no signs of structural damage or physical cause. It's hard to breathe, especially when I change position. The fluid (congestion) residing in my pericardium squooshes my lungs until I can adjust. My C-PAP has been doing a wonderful job of keeping the fluids OUT of my lungs, so there is that.

There is no prognosis.
It's even fallen short of an actual diagnosis.

I have the symptoms of heart failure.
I am receiving/doing treatments for heart failure.
Treatments are as effective as they can be, all things considered. (CHF can be a temperamental condition, until it gets into the later stages.)

One part of the treatment is mild exercise as can be tolerated.
Sure wish I still had my gazelle, or my pedals, or something of that sort.
I can still walk.
On days that I actually can walk.
Hopefully I can build up endurance, and will be able to walk in the woods and hike in the hills.
Maybe someday I'll even be able to walk all the way through Kroger's store without muscle spasms and gasping like a fish.
Maybe.
I figure mountain climbing is out, though.
Deep sea diving may or may not work, depending on depth. The piped in air is part of advanced treatment of cardiopulmonary issues, after all.
Not so sure about skydiving. All that thinner atmosphere and atmospheric pressure.

That's the plan, and it IS an achievable goal (within reason.)

I'm still trying.

Apologies Again

Apologies for yet another break.
I'm sorry.

When I went back to doctor I had lost two pounds. It took a month, and there was of course some differential due to clothing, but it was a change and in the right direction.

The doctor had done a full thyroid panel; there is nothing showing up there. Good news on one hand, but also a little strange. For a period, I had low thyroid, and okay, what made it start working again? Is it working properly? How long will it work and having low thyroidworries, health symptoms already how will I know if it stops again?

What if whatever made it start to work makes it start to overwork?

Anyway, the next step is seeing a urologist. That appointment has been made, Feb 1. From my research, that is the next step in seeking out a metabolic disorder that isnt showing up anything on routine testing, so I'm okay with that.

I would really like to cut straight through to seeing an endocrinologist, but one has to go through the proper steps. Unless one is independently wealthy of course, and gets to tell the professionals what to do.

The holidays and cold and my back going out haven't helped in establishing any equilibrium, I'm sorry to say, but I am hoping that is under control now.

Thank you all for your support.

Hello

hello.
I am going to try this for accountability. My natural laziness and lack of discipline is catching up with me in so many areas of my life, I am inviting you all to hold me accountable for my failures.

I need to do something. My weight is creeping up again. Actually, it is nit creeping, it is skyrocketing, and that is not acceptable to me.

My productivity is down, and my basic caretaking skills are falling by the wayside. I cannot permit this to be me, and I am taking action.

My sister did a weight loss journey blog, and it helped her tremendously, so I am following in her footsteps. With the blog, and hopefully with the weight loss success.

When and where have I drawn this line? I have always been big, and even after my last pregnancy -- nearly 30 years ago, I have been seriously overweight by the numbers.
Now, I don't like or trust numbers, they can be manipulated. (1 pregnant woman, 9 virgins. Statistically, the virgins are 1/10 pregnant and the pregnant one is 9/10 virgin. Yeah.)

BUT -- basic health I understand, and when my weight goes over a certain point I have health problems. It is the health problems that have me restarting on this journey today.

It is likely that my thyroid is again laying down on the job. Laziness may be a glandular failure, not a life-choice. Unfortunately, the month of October is already devoted to a different health problem so that will have to be checked later.
I already have the appointment scheduled.

New month, new week, changes already in the works.
We will see how it goes.

Give me hell, people.
Help me be and do my best.

Thank you.