Winter is a bad time for fresh air, exercise, fresh food, and many other things. Chronic ailments seem to intensify, fears are exaggerated, and nothing and no one feels quite in sync with the rest of Life.
So, it has been winter.
The Fall (Autumn) was long and dreary. The run-up to the holidays is too often for too many a reminder of loss and loneliness. After the holidays, the darkness seems to set in, just when the outer darkness has begun to reverse itself. Maybe the powers of dark, having failed at holding the outer places is fighting for a foothold within?
For a while now, I have had bad days and goods, with an average of one day a week being not worth getting out of bed for. (Except, y'know, going to the bathroom and such so the bed stays a comfortable place.)
But it's a new year, a new time, a new life, ha-ha, now. Time to do better. The new spring is coming. Sunlight is returning to the earth.
It is time for change.
Change is hard to do at any time.
It's really hard to do from under the covers, in the bed, in the house with curtains closed and artificial or forced heat.
I decided a while back -- can't recall when-- that if I could do nothing else, I would try to get at least a little bit of natural light every day. (Translation: open the curtains.)
Took a long time. Goes against the bad days. Hard to do. Every day it's not done, the next day is even more difficult.
But I have done it, for a couple of weeks now.
Not only the open curtains, which necessitate getting out of bed.
I have got up, got dressed, and opened the corner and sat by the window every single day.
I didn't always stay up for very long, sometimes less than an hour, but I did get those things done for at least a while. For an impressive (to me) number of days in a row.
There's nothing wrong with small goals. Victories are often an accumulation of them.
And they are doable.
If you're in a bad place, start small.
If you're in a dark place, maybe just open your eyes, whether it will make any difference to your seeing or not. It MAY make a difference to YOU. (It may not, but you won't know if you don't try.)
No matter what, it is an incredible sense of achievement, when you do it, first for five minutes, then ten; and eventually maybe two days in a row.
Look at you!
You decided to do something, and then YOU DID IT! You are not a nobody nothing who can't ever do anything.
ENJOY YOUR VICTORY.
